Quiet by Susan Cain

“At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled “quiet,” it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society–from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.”- Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t stop Talking, by Susan Cain

My mother used to let me read all the time. In the car, at the bus stop, while I was walking. She even let me read during family dinners. Hence, reading at breaks during primary school just felt like a natural extension of the rest of my life. I never felt the need to put down my book and go talk to people. I wasn’t anti-social; If anyone ever came up to me, I’d set aside my book, but I’d never felt the pressure to go and talk to other people. There were usually around 5 of us in the classroom, happily reading at our desks while the majority of our classmates went out for a rowdy game of tag in the playground.

When I turned 15, my aunt told me one day that she had always worried I would turn out anti-social, because my mother let me read at family dinners. I was taken aback. The realization that other people found reading in social settings inappropriate and strange came a decade late. After reading Quiet by Susan Cain, I discovered that my memories of childhood were in no way singular.

The concept of introversion and extroversion has been around since antiquity, the loquacious Aaron (extrovert) who spoke for introspective Moses (introvert) is but one of many biblical examples. Even before the terms were coined, the concept of such duality in personality existed. Introverts, according to Cain, “are careful, reflective thinkers who can tolerate the solitude that idea-generation requires.” They tend to prefer one on one conversation, and often make their way to the fringes of a party in order to seek out their preferred kind of communication. Most dislike public speaking, but many have gone on to become some of the most persuasive speakers of our time. Famous introverts include, Vincent van Gogh, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein.Introverts are inconclusively, important cogs in the machinery of the world.

The differences between introverts and extroverts are also biological. In a study done by Joseph Kagan, a professor at the Laboratory of Child Development at Harvard, babies were given different stimuli, such as cotton swabs doused in alcohol placed near their noses and popping balloons. Around 20% of them were categorized as high-reactives, which meant they reacted dramatically, “crying lustily and pumping their arms and legs”, while around 40% were low-reactives, barely reacting to the stimuli. A significant number of the high-reactives went on to become introverts, whereas the low-reactives went on to become introverts. The biological difference stays through adulthood, influencing our patterns of life. Introverts have a lower threshold for the volume of music, whereas extroverts generally prefer their music at higher decibels, with around 20 decibels of difference between the two. The world is physically much more stimulating for introverts.

However, that is but the “nature” part of the debate. Nurture gives us other qualities which are just as important to the foundations of our character. Raising an introverted child is quite different, termed as “the Orchid Problem”, conditions need to be adjusted and fine-tuned to bring out the best in them. This includes things such as bringing the child to see his classroom and surroundings before the first day of school, allowing them to have their own “restorative niches” after events that require them to be sociable. At the same time, push them to do new things, Cain counsels. Nurture accounts for our likability, sociability, neuroticism, other traits while linked introversion and extroversion are more strongly influenced by what happens after birth.

It is highly likely that you know at least one introvert, and Quiet may lead you to a greater self-understanding, or of your spouse, friends, family. Some may be masquerading at pseudo-extroverts, some may not be aware of the introversion, or that their “anti-social child” is in fact just introverted. The research that Cain has done spans several sphere of influence, looking at historical relationships between introverts and extroverts (Franklin D Roosevelt and Eleanor Roosevelt), to the Harvard Business School, and coming up with implications for child-care, relationships, the workplace, education, cultural difference etc. As an introvert, Cain’s passion for her subject is clear, as she encourages greater awareness of the dynamics between two opposing personalities, with a strong belief that both groups have much to offer the other.